No more trying. It's time to do...

I need to quit trying to do things, and just do them. All too often I say that I'm going to try to do something, and as soon as I say that word (try), I basically know that my heart isn't in it, and that I'm going to fail. From now on, no more trying, just doing. If I can get myself into that mindset, I won't fail, nor will I be demoralized by the failures I'm basically setting myself up for.

Here are some things I need to get done:

Stop Smoking: This one is killing me. I'm tired of coughing. I'm tired of waking up and my chest feeling heavy. I'm tired of not being able to breathe. I'm tired of feeling like I need a smoke to relieve me of stress. I'm tired of killing myself. I'm quitting smoking today. I'm throwing my tobacco away, and I'm not going to pick it back up. I'm also not going to let it get to my mood and push me into being a jerk. I'm throwing it away and I'm not going to pick it back up. The end.

Stop drinking: Lately I've been drinking way too much and spending too much money in the process. I need to stop. I've basically been using it to drown the old sorrows, and it's really not working. The sorrows always come back and I end up feeling like absolute garbage. It's time to throw this one away too. I intend to enjoy an adult beverage from time to time, don't get me wrong, but it's no substitute for emotional stability. That's something I've got to find within myself, not a bottle.

Lose weight: Yeah. I was dieting and lost over 30 pounds (closer to 40), but over the last month, between starting to eat more similarly to my old ways and the aforementioned drinking, I've gained a little back. It's time to jump back on the horse, because my target weight was 190, and I'm nowhere near that yet. I'll be there by the end of the year though.

Exercise: Yeah...here's another one I keep telling myself that I'm going to do...someday. I'm 30 now, and if I don't start being healthy now, chances are it's not going to get any easier in the future. It's time to work off the gut, build up some muscle and basically start getting myself back into game shape. I might not play sports any longer, but the fact is that the field of life is much more daunting. I need to have strength and be the best person I can be for those I love, in all facets of life.

Pay off my debts: This has been happening, but not as quickly as I would like. I need to stop all frivolous spending and just doing the right things, namely, get myself out of debt. If I play my cards right, I could get most of it taken care of by the end of the year. Once I get that out of the way, worries about not having money or credit, or never being able to support a family will be a thing of the past, and that would be a very welcome thing.

Think better of myself: Honestly, I don't think much of myself, and I really never have. I know a lot of you think I'm a good guy (some of you might even think I'm attractive, heh), but I've never seen that. That needs to change. I need to be honest enough with myself to recognize the good about me, while also acknowledging the not so good traits and working on them. No one is perfect, I know I'll never be, but I'm nowhere near as bad as I think I am. It's funny, I can be honest with a lot of you about how great I think you are (and when I tell you something like that, you can bet that it's absolutely true...I'm not just telling you what I think you'd want to hear), but I've never really been able to do that with myself. It's time for me to be honest about myself, to myself...

Well, that does it. Those are the things I'm going to do. Not try to do, just do. It will be difficult at some points, but nothing worth having comes easily. Health and self-respect are definitely things necessary for the happiness I want to experience some day, so taking these head on is absolutely necessary. If you see me faltering, help me out, back me up. Sometimes it's hard to do things completely on your own and a helping hand, a supportive word, even a caring glance, these things can make all the difference in the world during those times.

"Do, or do not. There is no try."